Have you ever been afraid to raise your prices, hire someone, or take on a bigger project?

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In today's episode, I am joined by Marjorie Bros, and we talk about overcoming fear,

building confidence, and growing as a business owner.

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Hey, I'm Shay Toya.

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I've spent more than 10 years in construction, working behind the scenes in marketing,

hiring, and I've seen how overwhelming it can be to grow a business.

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That's how we've learned to build a sustainable business using clear systems, strong

communication, and intentional recruiting.

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If you're ready for better hiring, smarter remarketing, and a business that doesn't fall

apart when you step away, welcome to Building Better Contractor Businesses.

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I am super, super excited to speak to Marjorie Bros with Break Free from Insecurity, who

has a podcast.

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How are you doing today, Marjorie?

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I'm doing

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Great.

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I'm so excited to meet you.

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I've listened to a lot of your podcasts and I'm excited to be on your show.

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Yes, I'm very excited to have you here as well.

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Marjorie, can you just share with us a little bit about yourself and how you got into

helping people overcome their insecurity and overthinking?

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Sure.

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I was painfully shy growing up and I didn't it wasn't the kind that you just outgrow

because it was an actually it was an actual fear of worrying about what people thought of

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me.

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And so it just went from in high school not talking at all to high school thinking people

were talking about me if I saw two people talking and it just I just lived in my head.

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I was second guessing everything and and then when I went to college, I had an experience

with the Lord that

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brought a new confidence, but I still lived with the old pattern, old way of thinking.

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But that's when I started my journey of discovering my true identity, or you could call it

my true worth and overcoming insecurity and overthinking.

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It and just kind of what you've told me already.

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You mentioned that getting closer to God is kind of what helped you do that.

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Is that correct?

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Yeah.

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I I had an experience I called I called the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

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People can read about that in Acts 2.

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And it just brought this new confidence that I didn't have in high school.

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Like there were so many lines in college and I made myself meet five people in every line.

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Computers were really slow back then.

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It was just a lot of lines.

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And so that was a new thing for me, a new confidence, but still struggling with old

thought patterns that I had to really take time.

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to renew my mind and figure out that God valued me and so I need to value me.

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Right.

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And just kind of like looking back, Marjorie, what are some of the things that you did

that you can remember that you had to overcome to get over those biggest insecurities you

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had to overcome personally?

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Well, for example, my my dad gave me something to do that's not it was just external.

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But it actually helped.

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And that was walk around campus with a paper in your hand, like you know where you're

going, and act confident.

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Okay, well that that actually helped me at that moment.

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It didn't change my thinking pattern.

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It helped me at that moment.

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But what I did to change my thinking pattern, it was a slow process, to be honest, but I

had a lot of uh wrong thinking.

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Which were lies to overcome.

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And I I would just have a Bible verse in my hand about fear.

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And it said, God has not given you the spirit of timidity or fear, but of power, love, and

a sound mind, Second Timothy one, seven.

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And I would just have to tell myself that all the time.

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And s the lies would be there because I was living in my head.

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And I would just constantly have to say this to myself to think correctly, because you

really can't think the opposite of what you're saying.

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You try it sometime.

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So I would have to say it out loud and get my thinking on the right track.

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Got it.

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And I I do love that, Marjorie.

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And so how do you feel like since you know our podcast is towards contractors, how do you

feel like insecurity and doubt shows up in business owners even when they seem like they

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are successful?

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Yeah.

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Insecurity can show up in so many ways because really the base of it is fear.

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So any part of business that you don't feel like you can you have a handle on can bring it

on.

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So if you're super good at your trade, you're highly skilled, but you don't know how to

run a business, or have hard conversations with people or employees or contractors, or set

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a goal and hold everyone to it, that's where doubts begin to show up.

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And the lie might be I'm not good at business.

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Or I'm a failure, or I'm terrible at bookkeeping.

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And the fact is, you just haven't been taught.

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It's not a skill of yours yet.

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But insecurity often shows up where our skills stop.

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A contractor may be excellent at construction or an electrician or whatever they do, maybe

they cut hair, but suddenly they're expected to hire people, lead teams, manage money,

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have difficult conversations.

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That's a lot.

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And if nobody taught you those skills, it's easy to just think,

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bad at business, I'm failing.

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But the truth is you're not failing.

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You just simply haven't been taught yet.

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You haven't learned that skill yet, or you haven't hired it out to somebody else.

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And a lot of times as owners or contractors, you know, we're kind of having to figure

things out.

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So what would you say for a contractor, kind of what you've said?

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Because a lot of times we just don't know because of things that we haven't been taught,

which is kind of what causes the the no the non confidence.

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So what are some of the things that you believe that contractors can do to co increase

that confidence so they come across they know what they're doing?

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I would

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it would be good to figure out what your fears are to put them in words.

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Sometimes they're your fears are very ambiguous.

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Like last year I knew I was believing something that wasn't true, but I didn't really know

what it was.

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And it was just ambiguous.

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But I but the fruit of it was not good.

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I don't even remember what the lie was actually, but I knew it was a lie.

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So I asked the Lord, can you will you help me to put this lie into words so that I can

combat it with the truth?

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So that's

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I I think figuring out the lie, what what is the exact fear you're dealing with?

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And then tell yourself what is the truth?

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Like just but you have to kind of repeatedly tell yourself the truth to make that new

pathway in your brain.

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Got it.

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that.

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Also contractors, you know, some one of the things that they struggle with is, you know,

possibly raising their pricings prices or hiring employees or taking on bigger projects.

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Why do you think that is?

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Well, some of it's because they know it will will require a big change.

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It will bring on more responsibility.

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And they haven't done that before.

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It's the fear of the unknown.

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It's a fear again.

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Fear of the unknown.

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And it feels vulnerable.

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And it can feel dangerous.

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You can question like, what will people think if I raise my prices?

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I might

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I might price out my regular customers, which you probably will because but you probably

have so many customers you will have to price out some of them.

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Am I good enough to raise my prices?

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What if my business struggles and I'm I stop getting the business I have now?

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Confidence is not knowing everything, because none of us know everything.

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It's knowing when to ask questions, knowing when to staff your weaknesses, and knowing

when to get training.

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You said.

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Knowing when to get training.

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When would you say is a good time to get training?

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Well, if you find yourself just thrown into this position of like suddenly you you need to

hire people because you have so much work and you you didn't have time to get training

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beforehand, then get training as you go.

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If you don't have the funds to staff your weakness, you just you need to do what you can.

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If you don't have funds to get to to pay somebody to be a mentor, go to YouTube.

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Do what you can.

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Learn that skill.

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Yes, do what you can.

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when you say overthinking comes from self protection.

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Can you explain what that means in simple terms?

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Yeah, all overthinking is rooted in fear.

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It's not always rooted in in your identity, which is a lot of what I talk about, your your

value.

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Sometimes it's a fear of losing money.

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Sometimes it's a fear of making the wrong decision.

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Sometimes it's a fear of disappointing people.

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And sometimes underneath it all, it's a fear that a mistake will somehow prove you're not

good enough.

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That one is all about knowing your true identity or your value.

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Not every overthinker is struggling with identity, but every overthinker is trying to

protect themselves from something.

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And I I have some examples if you want to hear them.

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It's like fear of financial loss.

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What if I raise my prices and lose customers?

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What if I hire someone and I can't afford them?

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What if this project goes sideways?

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That's not necessarily about worth, that's about risk.

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So it's a fear of risk, but it's a fear, fear of responsibility.

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What if I make a decision?

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And I'll have to live with the consequences.

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My son is a handyman in Houston.

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He's a one man show.

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He has a lot of work.

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He has he's a very hard worker.

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He communicates well with his customers.

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He would like to hire someone, but there's all these other things he has to think about.

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I think he should do a podcast on the one man show, thinking that they need to hire

somebody.

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All these other things he needs to think about, like insurance or will this guy represent

him well?

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just so many so many things I don't know.

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huh.

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That they have to think about.

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Fear of responsibility, more employees means more people depending on me.

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Fear of hurting someone.

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What if I have to fire this person?

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What if you hired your friend and then you have to fire them?

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Not fun.

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What if this employee make takes it personally?

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Because I I like this guy, but not a good worker.

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What if he takes it personally?

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Or two more, fear of change.

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Things are working things are working okay now.

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I I don't need to take this next step.

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What if I make a change and it gets worse?

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And then fear of failure.

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What if it just doesn't work?

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crazy is I've been through almost all of those examples.

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After twelve years of running a business, I've been through all of it.

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Yeah.

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Especially hiring friends and then unfortunately having to fire friends.

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That's

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That's so awful.

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Yes.

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Don't do that, people.

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But I

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feel like a lot of us we have to go through it.

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And you as you said, that's how you build your confidence when you go through things.

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What do you believe is the difference between being careful and being stuck and

overthinking?

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Well that's

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question.

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Careful is just what all of us should be.

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We should all be a little cautious because we're wisely, we're gathering facts.

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We're considering everything.

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We're taking everything in.

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We're trying to see the big picture.

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We're talking to people.

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We're asking questions in order to make the right decision.

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An overthinker, on the other hand, they gather facts and then they gather gather more

facts and then they gather more facts.

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And they're hoping, here's what they're hoping, that uncertainty will disappear.

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But the problem is uncertainty never

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completely disappears.

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There's always gonna be that.

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I guess they're that person that's always um I guess they never take action.

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Right.

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They're that person that that

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Do and it's or they do and it's very late.

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They they just take too long.

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Very, very true.

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When it comes to uh, you know, the things that you teach, you know, confidence, you te you

know, you teach that strong leaders separate identity from performance.

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What does that mean for business owners?

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Yeah, that's for leaders that really have an identity crisis because what what happens is

your identity depends on your performance.

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And every mistake feels a little bit like a threat, a threat to your own identity.

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You're not you're no longer evaluating the mistake, you're evaluating yourself.

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And instead of saying, I made a mistake, you start saying, I am a mistake.

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But secure leaders are able to separate their worth.

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from their performance.

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They can admit that they make mistakes, they can learn from them, and then they move

forward because their value isn't on trial every time something goes wrong.

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Yep.

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Make mistakes.

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And you can you share a story about judging the why and the lesson that came from it?

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Yeah.

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really one of the most valuable lessons I learned about 25 years ago.

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And is don't judge the why.

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Let me tell you what I mean by that.

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I'll give you the example first.

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I had messaged a friend.

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And that friend didn't not communicate back with me for a like I waited a month.

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And I started making up stories in my mind as to why she was not communicating with me.

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And I was mad at her.

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I messaged her back.

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I guess hoping to cause some guilt.

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I mean, this is twenty five years ago.

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I've grown up since then.

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I w it wasn't a loving message for sure.

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I don't even know what I said, but this is judging the why.

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I didn't know why she wasn't communicating with me.

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I made up a story in my own mind.

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So the way I learned this is I went to a special church service.

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I was in Colorado Springs and I drove all the way to Denver.

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I the special church I really liked and a Bible teacher was there.

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I still remember his name, Cecil Paxton.

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But anyway, he explained that the Bible uses the word judge in different ways.

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There's actually a good kind of judging, and there is a wrong kind of judging.

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The good kind of judging is like we know right from wrong.

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We can judge right from wrong.

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We can also judge someone's character by their fruit.

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That's a good kind of judging, how they live, how they show up to work, how they treat

others.

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But the wrong kind of judging is forming your own opinion.

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about something you don't really know about.

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It's assuming.

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So that's judging the why.

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It's making assumptions.

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So like a customer doesn't get back to you and you assume they're ghosting you.

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We lost a job.

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You know, the but the truth is you don't really know why.

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You don't have the facts.

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Maybe someone ghosts you they've been in the hospital for a month and you didn't even know

it.

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So just say to yourself, instead of judging the why, I don't know why.

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But I'll find out.

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I'll keep contacting this person and I'm going to find out.

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The why?

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And don't make up your own story.

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Yeah, Marjorie, I think we've all been there.

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So you're not alone.

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Even though it happened twenty five years ago, you're not alone.

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For me personally, I think uh Chat GBT has helped me a lot with the taking out the all the

emotions out of things.

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Yes, I know.

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It is a good counselor.

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Yes.

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when it comes to contractors becoming more confident, what do you feel like they should do

this week to build that confidence?

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I love that question because it makes me very be very specific.

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I'd say ask more questions.

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So in here's the here is the challenge.

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In every conversation this week, commit to asking one more question than you normally

would.

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Then actually listen to the answer.

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And because curious leaders grow and leaders who think they already know everything, they

stop learning.

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A secure leader asks questions, they are actively listening, which probably leads

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To another question, an insecure leader feels pressure to have all the answers.

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And I think that is so true.

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As I say, if you stop learning, you die.

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And then if you could give our our listeners before you we you know, before we leave,

what's one piece of advice about confidence leadership and business growth, what would it

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be?

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The goal is not to eliminate mistakes.

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The goal is to stop making mistakes, something about your worths or based on fear.

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You'll make mistakes.

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Your employees will make mistakes.

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Your subcontractors will make mistakes.

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How will you treat yourself if you make a mistake?

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How will you treat them if they make a mistake?

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That's part of growth.

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Mistakes happen.

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The best leaders learn from mistakes without letting them define who they are.

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I I just love this conversation.

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Marjorie, and just you know, for our listeners who would love to learn more about you, can

you just share with us a little bit about your podcast?

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Yeah, sure.

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It's called Break Free From Insecurity.

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And you can find it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever.

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And I just do it's very faith-based.

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So I do a short teaching, usually nine to ten minutes, and then I do an activation, which

might be called a meditation, but you're listening to God and you're trying to break free

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from lies you have believed and launch into your real true identity that you have in God,

your true value, how God sees you.

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Got it.

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I just loved when you were sharing that with us, Marjorie, you just seemed very excited.

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So I love that about you.

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Um and then if people want to connect with you personally, how do they do that?

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An email Margie A R J I at Break Free From Insecurity.

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Hey Toya, I just wanna tell you, I think you're amazing, you and your husband, and how you

started so young and all the things you've learned and you're already teaching other

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people.

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I think that's just amazing.

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Thank you.

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I just love that.

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Thank you so much.

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But Marjorie, today was amazing.

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I'm excited for people to hear more from you and I'm excited to learn more about your

podcast.

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Marjorie Marjorie will next time.

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All right.

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Thank you, Shaitoya.

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Of course.

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If you believe that this episode brought you real clarity, be sure to share it with

another contractor who also needs it.

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And if you want to keep this conversation going, be sure to join our community of

contractors inside Building Better Contractor Businesses.

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Facebook group.

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This is a community where we talk through the real problems.

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That you are having in your business.

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The link will be found in our show notes.

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And remember, we are not just completing projects, we are building better contractor

businesses.

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I will see you next time.